Totally Strange Baby Gear: Top 10

While surfing the net during this holiday season I have come across a number of things that I absolutely never would have imagined even existed.  Though some of this stuff would make for great gag gifts, the majority of it seems to be crap received at your baby shower.  You then spend the next 3 months trying to figure out where this ridiculous stuff came from and how you could ever return it.  Upon realizing you are never going to be able to find a place to return it you begin going through your list of facebook friends for someone who is going to have a baby or recently had one. I found a few of my favorite ridiculous baby items and thought I would share them with you.  Hopefully they will give you the laugh they gave me and take your mind off the holiday stress for a minute or two!

 

The BabyKeeper Hanging Harness.  So, you're wearing your baby and suddenly you realize you're going to burst if you don't get to the bathroom immediately.  But there's a problem. There's no where to put your baby! But wait! There's a solution to your problem.  This hanging harness fits snugly in your already overflowing diaper bag! Available at mommyessentials.com for the great low price of $39.99.

 

Enter the Daddle.  Guaranteed to save your back and your child's sensitive skin use the Daddle for those great horsey rides around the house.  Because just using your back is clearly not a possibility, hurry out and get one of these before your child insists on leaving you begging for the Tylenol! For those dads who are really serious about giving their kids their nightly jaunt around the living room the Daddy-O Rodeo T-shirt is also available to complete the full effect.

Everyone knows a wardrobe is never complete without a pair of matching heels.  Hence, baby heels.  Next on our show, introducing the push up bra for infants! Get them accustomed now to prevent issue later!

The iPhone cry-translator app.  The funny thing about this one is how often I have wondered if something like this was out there.  Should have known... "There's an app for that."

 Here's the thing about the battery powered aspirator... SCARY.  As if having something sucking your brains out through your nose isn't scary enough, now it can be down with a noisy and thorough contraption.  Having a baby with an overabundance of nasal fillings I can honestly swear this is not a necessary item when shopping for your newborn.

 The Tinkle-Tube.  Though I am absolutely certain no explanation is needed for the inherent stupidity in this product I have to say something.  Then again, perhaps I should keep my typing fingers still. Please, if you insist on forcing your potty training child to use this, keep it away from the eyes of the public.  

This so-called infant pillow is designed to offer baby the same comfort given by mom. I guess if mom is made of dismembered body parts this would really do the job.  On the other hand, if I rolled over and saw those hands hovering over my body there would definitely be no sleep in my house that night.

 The baby care timer tells you when baby needs to eat, have a diaper change, and according to the website, has a soft glow that helps parents move around in baby's dark room without waking up the little one.  Perhaps it's just me, but last time I checked, nearly everyone uses their cell phone for this purpose, and as far as timing goes, babies have a wonderful alarm clock of their own.  It's called crying.

 Apparently the latest and greatest in baby manicuring is nail clipping in the dark.  These lighted nail clippers are complete with safety guards to prevent nicking baby's tender skin.  There is also a very handy compartment within that gathers the nail clippings so they don't fall into babies bedding!

 

Your baby can swim! Or, that's what the caption on this scary looking product says.  To me, it looks like a death trap.  And somehow, this particular baby doesn't seem to be enjoying himself much.  Go figure! Products like these make me wonder how they get out for consumers to buy. And what worries me more is how some mom out there was actually okay with putting her baby in this thing long enough to take this picture!

Well, there you have it.  My top 10 weirdest, strangest, most ridiculous baby products ever.  And what makes this even more exciting is how they keep coming up with more and more stuff.  I believe this excitement will never end!  Keep it coming, for the laughs we get from these are downright priceless.