Recent Article Releases 10 Strange and Illegal Baby Names

So I know the top 10 stuff gets a little old, especially this time of year, but when I stumbled across this article I couldn't help but share the wealth of hilarity that I found within it.  Posted on Yahoo! Lifestyles, this article was the perfect antidote for cranky, scrooge-like feelings, though it is not at all related to Christmas.  I am re-posting the names I found in this article, with a few that I found on my own that I believe should be illegal! Take note: this article came about from a recent announcement from the pope denouncing naming your children after fruit, celebrities, or popular sports cars.  It is, therefore, Christian common courtesy to name your children purely secular names... Like Judas, or Job, perhaps. Anyway, here ya go.  I hope you get a kick out of these as much as I did.  Happy naming!

1. Ovnis: A 'name' originating in Portugal.  It wouldn't seem to be such a bad idea to name your kid something like this... Unless you have carefully read and analyzed this 80 page illegal-name encyclopedia. Inside are names that seem to be the same, however, have been banned as legal names.  Tomas is okay, for example, but Tom is not!  (By the way, Ovnis is translated as UFO).
2. Making it on the list of the top weirdest names of 2011 are Easter, Air, Palin, Soso Favor, and Tangy, just to name a few.  One can only imagine how life will be for these kids in school.  'Favor, can you do me a favor?' It seems hard to imagine these kids becoming anything other than the brunt of a classmate's bad joke.
3. Though making names illegal seems a little extreme, after reading these names from New Zealand I believe these judges were doing these kids a 'favor'. Taking the top of failed New Zealand names is a girl called '4real', whose parents were devastated by the judge's harsh ruling.  Also appearing on the stupid and deft name list are 'Fish and Chips' (twins), Keenan Got Lucky, Sex Fruit, and Yeah Detroit. I am sure the Lions Football Team appreciated the attempted support.
4. Ironic names seem to pop up everywhere, however, finding out that these names are illegal in the country is heard of much less often.  A couple in Sweden were denied when attempting to name their baby IKEA.  Personally, I would want compensation from the furniture company... I would also endorse their products.  Other illegal names showing up in Sweden include Veranda, Metallica, and Q.  One could only guess why Google was okay, though.
5. Appearing on the top weirdest boy names of 2011 were names that related both to music, pop culture, and Roman mythology.  My personal favorites were Banjo, Draco, Octavius, and Scooby.  Once again, if my name were Scooby, I would gladly endorse Scooby snacks.
6. Chow Tow (AKA Smelly Head from Malaysia) made me chuckle.  In 2006, the Malaysian government released a list of undesirable names that weren't in keeping with the religious traditions of the country.  Other names appearing on the much dreaded list were Khiow Khoo (AKA Hunchback), and Sor Chai (AKA Insane).
7. Though it really comes as no surprise that the notorious Deutschland has an entire department devoted to regulating names that parents choose, I believe some of these names were forbidden out of the goodness of the hearts of the government.  These names, however, are very similar to names that were accepted as okay.  Woodstock, Miatt, and Grammophon were denied while Jazz, Lafayette, and Speedy were accepted.  Take note that Miatt was denied because it was not immediately clear if the child was a girl or boy.
8. Out of Japan comes the name Akuma.  This seemingly harmless name is directly translated as Devil.  Occurring in 1993, authorities determined that this was an abuse of the parents' rights to decide on a child's name and a brutal court battle immediately ensued.  Sometime later, the father surrendered and junior was given a somewhat less evil name.
9. With China having the greatest surplus of people in the world, it must be very difficult to think of a unique name for the new little one.  One couple was denied access to the name '@'.  Authorities were irritated at this and took the name down as a very good example of bringing bad and bizarre names into the Chinese language.
10. Last on this list but certainly not the last forever comes a name from Italy.  In 2008 a couple was banned from naming their child 'Venerdi', (translation: Friday).  The judge believed the name would subject the child to unneeded 'mockery'.  The parents got the last laugh, however, when they threatened to name their next child 'Mercoledi' (translation: Wednesday).  

See the full article here

Enjoy the laughs!  You can find other weird baby names at babycenter.com.

Totally Strange Baby Gear: Top 10

While surfing the net during this holiday season I have come across a number of things that I absolutely never would have imagined even existed.  Though some of this stuff would make for great gag gifts, the majority of it seems to be crap received at your baby shower.  You then spend the next 3 months trying to figure out where this ridiculous stuff came from and how you could ever return it.  Upon realizing you are never going to be able to find a place to return it you begin going through your list of facebook friends for someone who is going to have a baby or recently had one. I found a few of my favorite ridiculous baby items and thought I would share them with you.  Hopefully they will give you the laugh they gave me and take your mind off the holiday stress for a minute or two!

 

The BabyKeeper Hanging Harness.  So, you're wearing your baby and suddenly you realize you're going to burst if you don't get to the bathroom immediately.  But there's a problem. There's no where to put your baby! But wait! There's a solution to your problem.  This hanging harness fits snugly in your already overflowing diaper bag! Available at mommyessentials.com for the great low price of $39.99.

 

Enter the Daddle.  Guaranteed to save your back and your child's sensitive skin use the Daddle for those great horsey rides around the house.  Because just using your back is clearly not a possibility, hurry out and get one of these before your child insists on leaving you begging for the Tylenol! For those dads who are really serious about giving their kids their nightly jaunt around the living room the Daddy-O Rodeo T-shirt is also available to complete the full effect.

Everyone knows a wardrobe is never complete without a pair of matching heels.  Hence, baby heels.  Next on our show, introducing the push up bra for infants! Get them accustomed now to prevent issue later!

The iPhone cry-translator app.  The funny thing about this one is how often I have wondered if something like this was out there.  Should have known... "There's an app for that."

 Here's the thing about the battery powered aspirator... SCARY.  As if having something sucking your brains out through your nose isn't scary enough, now it can be down with a noisy and thorough contraption.  Having a baby with an overabundance of nasal fillings I can honestly swear this is not a necessary item when shopping for your newborn.

 The Tinkle-Tube.  Though I am absolutely certain no explanation is needed for the inherent stupidity in this product I have to say something.  Then again, perhaps I should keep my typing fingers still. Please, if you insist on forcing your potty training child to use this, keep it away from the eyes of the public.  

This so-called infant pillow is designed to offer baby the same comfort given by mom. I guess if mom is made of dismembered body parts this would really do the job.  On the other hand, if I rolled over and saw those hands hovering over my body there would definitely be no sleep in my house that night.

 The baby care timer tells you when baby needs to eat, have a diaper change, and according to the website, has a soft glow that helps parents move around in baby's dark room without waking up the little one.  Perhaps it's just me, but last time I checked, nearly everyone uses their cell phone for this purpose, and as far as timing goes, babies have a wonderful alarm clock of their own.  It's called crying.

 Apparently the latest and greatest in baby manicuring is nail clipping in the dark.  These lighted nail clippers are complete with safety guards to prevent nicking baby's tender skin.  There is also a very handy compartment within that gathers the nail clippings so they don't fall into babies bedding!

 

Your baby can swim! Or, that's what the caption on this scary looking product says.  To me, it looks like a death trap.  And somehow, this particular baby doesn't seem to be enjoying himself much.  Go figure! Products like these make me wonder how they get out for consumers to buy. And what worries me more is how some mom out there was actually okay with putting her baby in this thing long enough to take this picture!

Well, there you have it.  My top 10 weirdest, strangest, most ridiculous baby products ever.  And what makes this even more exciting is how they keep coming up with more and more stuff.  I believe this excitement will never end!  Keep it coming, for the laughs we get from these are downright priceless.

The Swing: My Baby's Addiction and My Dirty Little Secret

In relation the last post, I have decided to voice a little about my opinion on baby swings.  God bless whomever it was that invented this incredible device!  As the mom of a very fussy baby who refuses to sleep at all times, I have decided that the swing is a tool that every mom must have to get through everyday life. Research has suggested that less than 5% of babies actually require a swing for deep sleep.  I guess I must have a kid within this small range.  There are countless websites that make suggestions for proper sleep in babies and starting sleep training as early as 3 months.  But, if you have followed my posts at all, you already know that sleep training has proved to be impossible for my little one.  I did find a website that made these common suggestions, and also gave some information on the research of the swing.

1. Don't Make Eye Contact: After lots of experience in trying to get the little one to even close her eyes, 'W' and I have discovered that even peeking over the crib has had fatal outcomes.  Looking at her in her swing has also shown to be effective in the art of waking the monster within.
2. Keep a Cooler Temp: To me, this one seems to be a given.  We all know we sleep better when it's cooler and bundled up in blankets.  This is no different for infants.  A velcro swaddle blanket and warm pajamas are guaranteed to keep baby comfy in a cooler environment.
3. Make Some Noise: Nearly every parenting book out there will have a section dedicated to the use of white noise machines.  Whether you use a washing machine, dishwasher, or pay the money for one of these fancy machines, this is a subject that is constantly preached about.  We have found that the ticking of a clock and a small fan in the room does wonders for uninterrupted sleep.
4. Time the Diaper Thing: After weeks of following a newborn's almost perfect patterns of eating, pooing (often simultaneously), and sleeping, parents often have a difficult time figuring out when it is appropriate to change baby's diaper.  Contrary to popular belief, baby doesn't need a change after every feeding or crying jag.  My suggestion to this conundrum is the diapers with wetness indicator. (Pampers and Huggies both use these). Put a diaper on baby just before final bedtime that has a higher absorbancy than the ones you use during the day and let it be.  Don't wake the little one with an unnecessary diaper change.
5. Do the Swing Thing: Often times the rest of these suggestions do not do the trick for baby and she will continue to wake up every 2 or 3 hours.  After doing this nonstop through 4 or 5 months mom and dad are tired and aching for a longer night's sleep.  Dr. Karp, who wrote the popular book The Happiest Baby on the Block, says that throwing a swing into the mix of your nightly routine can help baby settle in for the night.  "It's a myth that you're starting a bad habit," he said about using it to get the little one to sleep for the night.  As I mentioned earlier, only 5% of babies often need this technique, you can gradually stop using it as she learns to better soothe herself.

Lil' Boo Boo asleep in her swing at 2 months

 Sleep seems to be an evasive topic among parents and doctors.  Differing opinions and hot tempers often lead to disagreements that don't need to come around.  As I continue to learn more and more about my daughter's elusive nocturnal habits, I have realized just how much babies have to learn in their first year.  We, as parents and adults, often don't give them the credit they deserve.  If I were trying to learn a new thing every day that was crucial to the way I would live my life in the future I would probably have a hard time sleeping, too.  So give baby a break.  Let them follow their own course.  Eventually she will do what she needs to do to get her growth and development up to par.  So, in light of the season, Silent Night, everyone. Sleep peacefully and remember all the parents tonight who won't be!

Sleep Training: Why I Just Can't "Cry It Out"

Hello all!  It has been a while and much has happened with Thanksgiving and hanging around Walmart all night long in search of the perfect black Friday deals.  During these last couple of weeks 'W' and I have been struggling with teaching baby to fall back asleep on her own.  This has proved to be quite the challenge, as the little one has a habit of spitting her binkie out when in a heavy sleep and WILL NOT go back to sleep without it after waking up. As you may be aware of, everyone wakes up during different times of the night, rolls over, and goes back to sleep.  But babies have a hard time figuring this out, it seems, and after a 4 hour stretch of good sleeping, wake up and don't know what to do.  Hence the reason moms and dads everywhere are up with their kids who should be sleeping through the night at all odd hours.  So a new, so-called 'science' developed in which parents and scientists alike observed the sleeping patterns of babies and techniques that should help them sleep through the night came forth.  The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recently released a report on these techniques, emphasizing that through their research they discovered that no one technique will outdo another.  One is not better than another.  The key to 'sleep training' is pure consistency.  As wonderful as this sounds, I wonder how many of us actually live a consistent schedule in the evenings.  Husbands work late some nights, wives go out with the girls on weekends.  It's hard to imagine that any family actually has the same routine every night.  In spite of this, experts agree that the more consistent you are with the technique you choose, the better chance you have of being successful in getting a full night's rest.  I did some extra research of my own, and found the 5 suggestions this Academy of Sleep Medicine has come up with. Some I have tried, others not so much.

1. The full-blown Cry it Out Method: Let your baby cry herself to sleep without comforting her.  Alarmingly, this method has also been called the Extinction Method. I don't know a mother out there who could sit in her living room listening to her child screaming in their crib until they are too exhausted to cry any longer.  Seems rather inhumane doesn't it?
2. The modified Cry it Out Method: Let your baby cry, but reassure her at regular intervals, starting at small periods between comfort and getting to longer times before going back in to calm your baby.
3. Soothing bedtime routines: You establish routines that help your baby calm down, then turn out the lights and don't respond to any crying.  Though soothing bedtimes seem to be successful, I kind of have the feeling that not responding to her crying would be quite the opposite of continual soothing. 
4. Scheduled awakenings: this rarely used tactic involves waking your baby before she would normally get up on her own.  The awakenings get fewer and farther between as you get on with the technique, until they have finally phased out all together.  My issue with this one is how confusing it would be, especially with the sleep deprivation that inevitably would accompany it.  Timing wakes and trying to calculate how long you should wait before you wake baby up again would be more exhausting than responding to her usual wake schedule.
5. Parent education: Before baby arrives, or as soon as possible after, learn about infant sleep and how to help your baby develop healthy sleep habits early in infancy, such as putting her in bed sleepy, but awake.

I have tried several of these techniques, usually using two or three at the same time.  A constant night routine has done the most for us, though baby seems to make up her moves as she goes.  My point in all of the confusion and overwhelming contradicting research is reiterating that each baby does their own thing.  I refuse to accept only one of these techniques and promise to push my own ideas too.  So far sleep training has proved to be more frustrating than successful.  Our quest for perfect zzzz's is filled with much trial and error but it never hurts to be hopeful.  And perhaps the fatigue and exhaustion is just another part of everyday life. Once again, here's to finding comfort and happiness for your baby for life!

Top 10 Mom Arguments We're All Sick Of

It doesn't seem to matter if you read about it on an internet forum or a parenting magazine or the latest kids and advice book, there are nothing but arguments on every page.  These arguments have been going on since the beginning of time and continue to be a war waged without purpose.  Every mom out there believes she's right about all of her parenting techniques and everyone else is wrong.  So after considering this endless array of controversial topics I have come up with 10 arguments that I see over and over again and would do well to live without.

1.  The C-Section

2.  Breastfeeding vs. Formula (bottle feeding)

3.  Anti-Paci and Pro Binkie

4.  Depression Medications While Pregnant

5.  Natural Childbirth vs. Epidural

6.  The Anti-TV Team

7.  Cloth vs. Disposable

8.  Vaccines and Autism

9.  Necessary Childbirth Classes

10. The Crib Bumper

Clearly, this list could go on and on forever with every topic concerning every baby ever born.  The list is endless.  Every new mom will go on the internet or into a parenting magazine looking for the newest in suggestions and research, only to find nothing but things that they disagree with.  The forums on the net leave mommies the option for anonymity, therefore theoretically allowing them to say whatever comes to their little fingers.  After reading many of these forums myself, I can honestly say that I never imagined how many STUPID and INANE topics these mommy wars start from.  Many of the topics from my list are from research and articles that have come out within the last few months.  The blog'o'sphere has become hammered down with everyone's opinion on all of these.  I won't go into my own opinion on these matters because I believe that unless you are encouraging your 4 month old to drink a bottle of mountain dew, you should be entitled to your own parenting choices; without the input and opinion of every other professor, nurse, and mother out there.  I put a few links on this post that will take you to some of the recent articles on these subjects in case you're not fully familiar with the issue!

Anti TV:  http://www.livescience.com/5480-tv-learning-lag-infants.html  

Vaccines and Autism: http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/Concerns/Autism/Index.html

Depression Meds During Pregnancy: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/antidepressants/DN00007

Crib Bumpers:  http://babyproducts.about.com/od/recallsandsafety/a/bumpersafety.htm

* Keep in mind that I do not agree with, nor protest, any of these articles.  Yes, I have opinions, no I will not put them out there for all to criticize.  Mind boggling, eh?

For the Love of G.E.R.D.

For months now our little A. has had all of the symptoms of GERD.  Crying after eating, excessive burping, and screaming when placed on her back have all contributed to our constant worry.  When A. was finally diagnosed and given medication we thought we had made it out of the tunnel.  She seemed to be feeling better and we assumed she just needed the extra boost to help her digestion without any reflux.  But once again she surprised us and after a few days was back to her regular routine.  It seemed as if the medicine was only helping for a couple of hours and her formula was still causing problems.

To understand GERD, one has to understand what causes it in infants and children.  GERD is relatively simple to define: "reflux is due to a poorly coordinated gastrointestinal tract," (http://www.medicinenet.com/gerd_in_infants_and_children/article.htm).  Well thanks for that inspiring definition of what is going on when my daughter eats!  It's so clean cut and simple now! Ha...  What experts tend to ignore, forget, or not acknowledge, however, is how this 'simple and non-threatening disease' affects babies with the condition, and the parents of these babies.  Anyone who has spent any time at all with a baby with reflux knows what I'm talking about.  The spitting up, belching, stomach sounds... Sounds like fun, eh?

It was not until much later that we realized what else GERD could contribute to.  When we brought the little one home I was the first to notice a phlegmy sound when she would breathe.  I chalked it up to two things, the first of which being that she was born a month early and her lungs were not fully developed.  The C-section didn't help that either, as it is common for the baby to get amniotic fluid in their lungs during the procedure.  The second? MY BABY HAD A PROBLEM.  Naturally a first time mommy would come to this conclusion.  I brought it to W's attention and he calmly reassured me that the sound would soon go away and we could move on with life as our new usual.  The sounds of phlegm stuck in her chest didn't go away, though.  I started to worry.  At a recent doctor's appointment I was told that reflux has many other complications not usually mentioned at the time of diagnosis.  He proceeded to tell us that other common problems were recurrent wheezing, breathing problems, slow growth, and in a worst case scenario, pneumonia could occur.  So we were sent home with our new found information, and told to come back if we heard any wheezing.  That night I heard wheezing.  Long story short (or shortened, rather) we ended up with a nebulizer and vials of albuteral to help the asthma-like symptoms.

My point to this long and tedious story is to find everything there is to know about your (or your baby's) recent diagnosis.  Don't go home rationalizing to yourself that you're overreacting and believing that the doctor told you everything.  Chances are, he didn't.  Not because he's a neglectful doc that needs his license taken away, but because the symptoms may be rare for that disorder, or he had a busy practice and was distracted by the screaming child in the room next door who was receiving shots.  Don't believe everything you read on the internet either.  You can find a reason for anything on the 'net.  If I believed everything I read webmd would have told me today my headache was caused by a life threatening tumor.  The fact is, you are a parent, and there are instincts engrained in you that tell you when little red flags should come up.  Go with your gut and pursue it until you know your mystery is solved.  And if you have a little one with GERD, well, you know how fun it is.  Keep it up, as I am sure the symptoms of GERD do not deter you from loving your little one. Good luck in keeping your baby happy and God bless.

The Consistently Fussy Baby

     We've all heard it... "I have the fussiest baby on the planet."  Every parent thinks it at some point or another in their journey of upbringing.  The number of hours a baby is fussy, however, is rarely recorded.  And when does it become an issue that should be brought to the doctor?  What is the difference between a consistently fussy baby and a baby with colic?  As a first time mommy of a baby who is both colicy and consistently fussy I believe the difference is vague, but often depends on the actual cries of the child.  Nothing strikes a chord quite like sitting enjoying the quiet of a baby's nap and hearing the piercing scream of a baby in pain.  My little one, who I will call 'A' throughout this blog, is perhaps the best at pulling at the heartstrings of anyone who hears her 'sleep cry'.  One can tell she is clearly uncomfortable.  But giving comfort is easier said than done.  
    'A' had a rough start into this big world of ours.  Born a month early due to complications she was subjected into chaos from hour one of being on the planet.  One could only expect she was going to be a handful for the first few months.  But neither my husband, 'W', nor I could ever expect the hours we would put into walking laps through the house, dancing like a wild crazy person, and trying to offer some means of comfort to the love of our life.  The first 2 months were filled with nightly colic starting sometime around 7:30 and often not ending until 11:30.  And considering she was still eating every 2 hours she was not a happy camper.  Then she started to come around.  She was still a little fussy during the day but all of the sudden she was sleeping through the night.  'W' and I were loving life.  Getting 7 hours of sleep was a gift from the gods.  But as soon as the good luck came it was gone and once again we were dealing with the cranky baby we had grown to know and love.  But it was fairly different this time.  The fussiness lasted consistently throughout the day and when we did finally get her to sleep at night we would be wakened every hour on the hour to the familiar sounds of her discomfort.  At first the doctor chalked it up to GERD, a lovely case of acid reflux that affects all too many babies across the nation.  Then it was blamed on a mix of the GERD and our current choice of formula.  So we switched formula.  We still await the appearance of a consistently HAPPY baby, rather than the consistently fussy one we have come to accept as our reality.  While 'W' is at work, I spend the day with the baby, and often times my mom, trying to keep her as comfortable as possible and knowing that there is still something I have yet to figure out to make her the happy baby we want to see.
     Why tell this endless sob story you ask?  Well I asked that to myself when I first considered opening this blog.  I realize now that this story is for the other moms and dads who have The Consistently Fussy Baby.  Because there is nothing quite like knowing there's someone else who is going through exactly the same thing.  This blog is me; clean cut and no disguises; completely real world.  Welcome to my life.  Enjoy it, patronize it, judge it, hate it, love it, whatever.  By reading you've entered into this chaos 'W' and I call a family, and we love it no matter how chaotic it gets.  And to the other parents with a baby as tough and as loved as mine is: Welcome aboard.  Here's to you and your constant persistence in finding comfort and happiness to your baby!