Recent Article Releases 10 Strange and Illegal Baby Names

So I know the top 10 stuff gets a little old, especially this time of year, but when I stumbled across this article I couldn't help but share the wealth of hilarity that I found within it.  Posted on Yahoo! Lifestyles, this article was the perfect antidote for cranky, scrooge-like feelings, though it is not at all related to Christmas.  I am re-posting the names I found in this article, with a few that I found on my own that I believe should be illegal! Take note: this article came about from a recent announcement from the pope denouncing naming your children after fruit, celebrities, or popular sports cars.  It is, therefore, Christian common courtesy to name your children purely secular names... Like Judas, or Job, perhaps. Anyway, here ya go.  I hope you get a kick out of these as much as I did.  Happy naming!

1. Ovnis: A 'name' originating in Portugal.  It wouldn't seem to be such a bad idea to name your kid something like this... Unless you have carefully read and analyzed this 80 page illegal-name encyclopedia. Inside are names that seem to be the same, however, have been banned as legal names.  Tomas is okay, for example, but Tom is not!  (By the way, Ovnis is translated as UFO).
2. Making it on the list of the top weirdest names of 2011 are Easter, Air, Palin, Soso Favor, and Tangy, just to name a few.  One can only imagine how life will be for these kids in school.  'Favor, can you do me a favor?' It seems hard to imagine these kids becoming anything other than the brunt of a classmate's bad joke.
3. Though making names illegal seems a little extreme, after reading these names from New Zealand I believe these judges were doing these kids a 'favor'. Taking the top of failed New Zealand names is a girl called '4real', whose parents were devastated by the judge's harsh ruling.  Also appearing on the stupid and deft name list are 'Fish and Chips' (twins), Keenan Got Lucky, Sex Fruit, and Yeah Detroit. I am sure the Lions Football Team appreciated the attempted support.
4. Ironic names seem to pop up everywhere, however, finding out that these names are illegal in the country is heard of much less often.  A couple in Sweden were denied when attempting to name their baby IKEA.  Personally, I would want compensation from the furniture company... I would also endorse their products.  Other illegal names showing up in Sweden include Veranda, Metallica, and Q.  One could only guess why Google was okay, though.
5. Appearing on the top weirdest boy names of 2011 were names that related both to music, pop culture, and Roman mythology.  My personal favorites were Banjo, Draco, Octavius, and Scooby.  Once again, if my name were Scooby, I would gladly endorse Scooby snacks.
6. Chow Tow (AKA Smelly Head from Malaysia) made me chuckle.  In 2006, the Malaysian government released a list of undesirable names that weren't in keeping with the religious traditions of the country.  Other names appearing on the much dreaded list were Khiow Khoo (AKA Hunchback), and Sor Chai (AKA Insane).
7. Though it really comes as no surprise that the notorious Deutschland has an entire department devoted to regulating names that parents choose, I believe some of these names were forbidden out of the goodness of the hearts of the government.  These names, however, are very similar to names that were accepted as okay.  Woodstock, Miatt, and Grammophon were denied while Jazz, Lafayette, and Speedy were accepted.  Take note that Miatt was denied because it was not immediately clear if the child was a girl or boy.
8. Out of Japan comes the name Akuma.  This seemingly harmless name is directly translated as Devil.  Occurring in 1993, authorities determined that this was an abuse of the parents' rights to decide on a child's name and a brutal court battle immediately ensued.  Sometime later, the father surrendered and junior was given a somewhat less evil name.
9. With China having the greatest surplus of people in the world, it must be very difficult to think of a unique name for the new little one.  One couple was denied access to the name '@'.  Authorities were irritated at this and took the name down as a very good example of bringing bad and bizarre names into the Chinese language.
10. Last on this list but certainly not the last forever comes a name from Italy.  In 2008 a couple was banned from naming their child 'Venerdi', (translation: Friday).  The judge believed the name would subject the child to unneeded 'mockery'.  The parents got the last laugh, however, when they threatened to name their next child 'Mercoledi' (translation: Wednesday).  

See the full article here

Enjoy the laughs!  You can find other weird baby names at babycenter.com.

Totally Strange Baby Gear: Top 10

While surfing the net during this holiday season I have come across a number of things that I absolutely never would have imagined even existed.  Though some of this stuff would make for great gag gifts, the majority of it seems to be crap received at your baby shower.  You then spend the next 3 months trying to figure out where this ridiculous stuff came from and how you could ever return it.  Upon realizing you are never going to be able to find a place to return it you begin going through your list of facebook friends for someone who is going to have a baby or recently had one. I found a few of my favorite ridiculous baby items and thought I would share them with you.  Hopefully they will give you the laugh they gave me and take your mind off the holiday stress for a minute or two!

 

The BabyKeeper Hanging Harness.  So, you're wearing your baby and suddenly you realize you're going to burst if you don't get to the bathroom immediately.  But there's a problem. There's no where to put your baby! But wait! There's a solution to your problem.  This hanging harness fits snugly in your already overflowing diaper bag! Available at mommyessentials.com for the great low price of $39.99.

 

Enter the Daddle.  Guaranteed to save your back and your child's sensitive skin use the Daddle for those great horsey rides around the house.  Because just using your back is clearly not a possibility, hurry out and get one of these before your child insists on leaving you begging for the Tylenol! For those dads who are really serious about giving their kids their nightly jaunt around the living room the Daddy-O Rodeo T-shirt is also available to complete the full effect.

Everyone knows a wardrobe is never complete without a pair of matching heels.  Hence, baby heels.  Next on our show, introducing the push up bra for infants! Get them accustomed now to prevent issue later!

The iPhone cry-translator app.  The funny thing about this one is how often I have wondered if something like this was out there.  Should have known... "There's an app for that."

 Here's the thing about the battery powered aspirator... SCARY.  As if having something sucking your brains out through your nose isn't scary enough, now it can be down with a noisy and thorough contraption.  Having a baby with an overabundance of nasal fillings I can honestly swear this is not a necessary item when shopping for your newborn.

 The Tinkle-Tube.  Though I am absolutely certain no explanation is needed for the inherent stupidity in this product I have to say something.  Then again, perhaps I should keep my typing fingers still. Please, if you insist on forcing your potty training child to use this, keep it away from the eyes of the public.  

This so-called infant pillow is designed to offer baby the same comfort given by mom. I guess if mom is made of dismembered body parts this would really do the job.  On the other hand, if I rolled over and saw those hands hovering over my body there would definitely be no sleep in my house that night.

 The baby care timer tells you when baby needs to eat, have a diaper change, and according to the website, has a soft glow that helps parents move around in baby's dark room without waking up the little one.  Perhaps it's just me, but last time I checked, nearly everyone uses their cell phone for this purpose, and as far as timing goes, babies have a wonderful alarm clock of their own.  It's called crying.

 Apparently the latest and greatest in baby manicuring is nail clipping in the dark.  These lighted nail clippers are complete with safety guards to prevent nicking baby's tender skin.  There is also a very handy compartment within that gathers the nail clippings so they don't fall into babies bedding!

 

Your baby can swim! Or, that's what the caption on this scary looking product says.  To me, it looks like a death trap.  And somehow, this particular baby doesn't seem to be enjoying himself much.  Go figure! Products like these make me wonder how they get out for consumers to buy. And what worries me more is how some mom out there was actually okay with putting her baby in this thing long enough to take this picture!

Well, there you have it.  My top 10 weirdest, strangest, most ridiculous baby products ever.  And what makes this even more exciting is how they keep coming up with more and more stuff.  I believe this excitement will never end!  Keep it coming, for the laughs we get from these are downright priceless.

The Swing: My Baby's Addiction and My Dirty Little Secret

In relation the last post, I have decided to voice a little about my opinion on baby swings.  God bless whomever it was that invented this incredible device!  As the mom of a very fussy baby who refuses to sleep at all times, I have decided that the swing is a tool that every mom must have to get through everyday life. Research has suggested that less than 5% of babies actually require a swing for deep sleep.  I guess I must have a kid within this small range.  There are countless websites that make suggestions for proper sleep in babies and starting sleep training as early as 3 months.  But, if you have followed my posts at all, you already know that sleep training has proved to be impossible for my little one.  I did find a website that made these common suggestions, and also gave some information on the research of the swing.

1. Don't Make Eye Contact: After lots of experience in trying to get the little one to even close her eyes, 'W' and I have discovered that even peeking over the crib has had fatal outcomes.  Looking at her in her swing has also shown to be effective in the art of waking the monster within.
2. Keep a Cooler Temp: To me, this one seems to be a given.  We all know we sleep better when it's cooler and bundled up in blankets.  This is no different for infants.  A velcro swaddle blanket and warm pajamas are guaranteed to keep baby comfy in a cooler environment.
3. Make Some Noise: Nearly every parenting book out there will have a section dedicated to the use of white noise machines.  Whether you use a washing machine, dishwasher, or pay the money for one of these fancy machines, this is a subject that is constantly preached about.  We have found that the ticking of a clock and a small fan in the room does wonders for uninterrupted sleep.
4. Time the Diaper Thing: After weeks of following a newborn's almost perfect patterns of eating, pooing (often simultaneously), and sleeping, parents often have a difficult time figuring out when it is appropriate to change baby's diaper.  Contrary to popular belief, baby doesn't need a change after every feeding or crying jag.  My suggestion to this conundrum is the diapers with wetness indicator. (Pampers and Huggies both use these). Put a diaper on baby just before final bedtime that has a higher absorbancy than the ones you use during the day and let it be.  Don't wake the little one with an unnecessary diaper change.
5. Do the Swing Thing: Often times the rest of these suggestions do not do the trick for baby and she will continue to wake up every 2 or 3 hours.  After doing this nonstop through 4 or 5 months mom and dad are tired and aching for a longer night's sleep.  Dr. Karp, who wrote the popular book The Happiest Baby on the Block, says that throwing a swing into the mix of your nightly routine can help baby settle in for the night.  "It's a myth that you're starting a bad habit," he said about using it to get the little one to sleep for the night.  As I mentioned earlier, only 5% of babies often need this technique, you can gradually stop using it as she learns to better soothe herself.

Lil' Boo Boo asleep in her swing at 2 months

 Sleep seems to be an evasive topic among parents and doctors.  Differing opinions and hot tempers often lead to disagreements that don't need to come around.  As I continue to learn more and more about my daughter's elusive nocturnal habits, I have realized just how much babies have to learn in their first year.  We, as parents and adults, often don't give them the credit they deserve.  If I were trying to learn a new thing every day that was crucial to the way I would live my life in the future I would probably have a hard time sleeping, too.  So give baby a break.  Let them follow their own course.  Eventually she will do what she needs to do to get her growth and development up to par.  So, in light of the season, Silent Night, everyone. Sleep peacefully and remember all the parents tonight who won't be!