Sleep Training: Why I Just Can't "Cry It Out"

Hello all!  It has been a while and much has happened with Thanksgiving and hanging around Walmart all night long in search of the perfect black Friday deals.  During these last couple of weeks 'W' and I have been struggling with teaching baby to fall back asleep on her own.  This has proved to be quite the challenge, as the little one has a habit of spitting her binkie out when in a heavy sleep and WILL NOT go back to sleep without it after waking up. As you may be aware of, everyone wakes up during different times of the night, rolls over, and goes back to sleep.  But babies have a hard time figuring this out, it seems, and after a 4 hour stretch of good sleeping, wake up and don't know what to do.  Hence the reason moms and dads everywhere are up with their kids who should be sleeping through the night at all odd hours.  So a new, so-called 'science' developed in which parents and scientists alike observed the sleeping patterns of babies and techniques that should help them sleep through the night came forth.  The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recently released a report on these techniques, emphasizing that through their research they discovered that no one technique will outdo another.  One is not better than another.  The key to 'sleep training' is pure consistency.  As wonderful as this sounds, I wonder how many of us actually live a consistent schedule in the evenings.  Husbands work late some nights, wives go out with the girls on weekends.  It's hard to imagine that any family actually has the same routine every night.  In spite of this, experts agree that the more consistent you are with the technique you choose, the better chance you have of being successful in getting a full night's rest.  I did some extra research of my own, and found the 5 suggestions this Academy of Sleep Medicine has come up with. Some I have tried, others not so much.

1. The full-blown Cry it Out Method: Let your baby cry herself to sleep without comforting her.  Alarmingly, this method has also been called the Extinction Method. I don't know a mother out there who could sit in her living room listening to her child screaming in their crib until they are too exhausted to cry any longer.  Seems rather inhumane doesn't it?
2. The modified Cry it Out Method: Let your baby cry, but reassure her at regular intervals, starting at small periods between comfort and getting to longer times before going back in to calm your baby.
3. Soothing bedtime routines: You establish routines that help your baby calm down, then turn out the lights and don't respond to any crying.  Though soothing bedtimes seem to be successful, I kind of have the feeling that not responding to her crying would be quite the opposite of continual soothing. 
4. Scheduled awakenings: this rarely used tactic involves waking your baby before she would normally get up on her own.  The awakenings get fewer and farther between as you get on with the technique, until they have finally phased out all together.  My issue with this one is how confusing it would be, especially with the sleep deprivation that inevitably would accompany it.  Timing wakes and trying to calculate how long you should wait before you wake baby up again would be more exhausting than responding to her usual wake schedule.
5. Parent education: Before baby arrives, or as soon as possible after, learn about infant sleep and how to help your baby develop healthy sleep habits early in infancy, such as putting her in bed sleepy, but awake.

I have tried several of these techniques, usually using two or three at the same time.  A constant night routine has done the most for us, though baby seems to make up her moves as she goes.  My point in all of the confusion and overwhelming contradicting research is reiterating that each baby does their own thing.  I refuse to accept only one of these techniques and promise to push my own ideas too.  So far sleep training has proved to be more frustrating than successful.  Our quest for perfect zzzz's is filled with much trial and error but it never hurts to be hopeful.  And perhaps the fatigue and exhaustion is just another part of everyday life. Once again, here's to finding comfort and happiness for your baby for life!

Top 10 Mom Arguments We're All Sick Of

It doesn't seem to matter if you read about it on an internet forum or a parenting magazine or the latest kids and advice book, there are nothing but arguments on every page.  These arguments have been going on since the beginning of time and continue to be a war waged without purpose.  Every mom out there believes she's right about all of her parenting techniques and everyone else is wrong.  So after considering this endless array of controversial topics I have come up with 10 arguments that I see over and over again and would do well to live without.

1.  The C-Section

2.  Breastfeeding vs. Formula (bottle feeding)

3.  Anti-Paci and Pro Binkie

4.  Depression Medications While Pregnant

5.  Natural Childbirth vs. Epidural

6.  The Anti-TV Team

7.  Cloth vs. Disposable

8.  Vaccines and Autism

9.  Necessary Childbirth Classes

10. The Crib Bumper

Clearly, this list could go on and on forever with every topic concerning every baby ever born.  The list is endless.  Every new mom will go on the internet or into a parenting magazine looking for the newest in suggestions and research, only to find nothing but things that they disagree with.  The forums on the net leave mommies the option for anonymity, therefore theoretically allowing them to say whatever comes to their little fingers.  After reading many of these forums myself, I can honestly say that I never imagined how many STUPID and INANE topics these mommy wars start from.  Many of the topics from my list are from research and articles that have come out within the last few months.  The blog'o'sphere has become hammered down with everyone's opinion on all of these.  I won't go into my own opinion on these matters because I believe that unless you are encouraging your 4 month old to drink a bottle of mountain dew, you should be entitled to your own parenting choices; without the input and opinion of every other professor, nurse, and mother out there.  I put a few links on this post that will take you to some of the recent articles on these subjects in case you're not fully familiar with the issue!

Anti TV:  http://www.livescience.com/5480-tv-learning-lag-infants.html  

Vaccines and Autism: http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/Concerns/Autism/Index.html

Depression Meds During Pregnancy: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/antidepressants/DN00007

Crib Bumpers:  http://babyproducts.about.com/od/recallsandsafety/a/bumpersafety.htm

* Keep in mind that I do not agree with, nor protest, any of these articles.  Yes, I have opinions, no I will not put them out there for all to criticize.  Mind boggling, eh?

For the Love of G.E.R.D.

For months now our little A. has had all of the symptoms of GERD.  Crying after eating, excessive burping, and screaming when placed on her back have all contributed to our constant worry.  When A. was finally diagnosed and given medication we thought we had made it out of the tunnel.  She seemed to be feeling better and we assumed she just needed the extra boost to help her digestion without any reflux.  But once again she surprised us and after a few days was back to her regular routine.  It seemed as if the medicine was only helping for a couple of hours and her formula was still causing problems.

To understand GERD, one has to understand what causes it in infants and children.  GERD is relatively simple to define: "reflux is due to a poorly coordinated gastrointestinal tract," (http://www.medicinenet.com/gerd_in_infants_and_children/article.htm).  Well thanks for that inspiring definition of what is going on when my daughter eats!  It's so clean cut and simple now! Ha...  What experts tend to ignore, forget, or not acknowledge, however, is how this 'simple and non-threatening disease' affects babies with the condition, and the parents of these babies.  Anyone who has spent any time at all with a baby with reflux knows what I'm talking about.  The spitting up, belching, stomach sounds... Sounds like fun, eh?

It was not until much later that we realized what else GERD could contribute to.  When we brought the little one home I was the first to notice a phlegmy sound when she would breathe.  I chalked it up to two things, the first of which being that she was born a month early and her lungs were not fully developed.  The C-section didn't help that either, as it is common for the baby to get amniotic fluid in their lungs during the procedure.  The second? MY BABY HAD A PROBLEM.  Naturally a first time mommy would come to this conclusion.  I brought it to W's attention and he calmly reassured me that the sound would soon go away and we could move on with life as our new usual.  The sounds of phlegm stuck in her chest didn't go away, though.  I started to worry.  At a recent doctor's appointment I was told that reflux has many other complications not usually mentioned at the time of diagnosis.  He proceeded to tell us that other common problems were recurrent wheezing, breathing problems, slow growth, and in a worst case scenario, pneumonia could occur.  So we were sent home with our new found information, and told to come back if we heard any wheezing.  That night I heard wheezing.  Long story short (or shortened, rather) we ended up with a nebulizer and vials of albuteral to help the asthma-like symptoms.

My point to this long and tedious story is to find everything there is to know about your (or your baby's) recent diagnosis.  Don't go home rationalizing to yourself that you're overreacting and believing that the doctor told you everything.  Chances are, he didn't.  Not because he's a neglectful doc that needs his license taken away, but because the symptoms may be rare for that disorder, or he had a busy practice and was distracted by the screaming child in the room next door who was receiving shots.  Don't believe everything you read on the internet either.  You can find a reason for anything on the 'net.  If I believed everything I read webmd would have told me today my headache was caused by a life threatening tumor.  The fact is, you are a parent, and there are instincts engrained in you that tell you when little red flags should come up.  Go with your gut and pursue it until you know your mystery is solved.  And if you have a little one with GERD, well, you know how fun it is.  Keep it up, as I am sure the symptoms of GERD do not deter you from loving your little one. Good luck in keeping your baby happy and God bless.